Grasshopper!

Sometimes being Zen means pummeling an aggressor to the floor and beating the bejesus out them. Admittedly, said beating should be the option of last resort for those on the path to enlightenment, but nevertheless there’s a reason Bruce Lee carried nunchucks and the Ninja Turtles were armed. See, there are those out there that would cause you and your loved ones a world of harm and when they attack it’s up to you to defend yourself. That’s why we assembled this handy digitized guide of the best places in Miami to learn how to kick some serious booty. So, keep your arms up, your knees bent and get to these martial arts temples straightaway, grasshopper.

At Master Sang’s Academy in North Miami Beach you can study the art of kicking and punching with a true master of Tae Kwon Do. How good is this guy? Well, if you’ve seen Rush Hour 3, you’ve no doubt witnessed the master in action when he took on Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan for the cameras. Don’t get the wrong idea, though, this isn’t Hollywood special effects. Master Sang is the real deal, having studied his martial discipline since the tender age of five in his hometown of Seoul, Korea. He even developed his own unique style the master calls TNT or Tae Kwon Do N' Muai Thai, a style which incorporates Thai kickboxing into his already deadly regimen.
Master Sang’s Academy; 7128 Collins Ave, Miami Beach; 305-861-7128; mastersangsacademy.com.

If you know anything about the Ultimate Fighting Championship, you know that the first, second and fourth competitions were unequivocally won by Brazilian Jiu-jitsu phenomenon, Royce Gracie. In fact, the Gracie clan is synonymous with Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and we here in Miami are fortunate enough to have the youngest son of the great Carlos Gracie (the man who started it all) right here in our own back yard. Rilion Gracie, a 7th degree black belt, will have you forcing your opponents into submission in no time.
Rilion Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy: 2223 SW 13th Ave, Miami; 305-285-2393; riliongracie.com.

For those of lesser stature there can be no better training than that of the ways of Budo, a self-defense philosophy that is highly incorporated in the practice of Aikido. Focusing solely on reacting to your opponents attack, this discipline is particularly aimed at using your opponent’s momentum against them. It might sound like bologna, but believe us when we tell you that this style will literally have you enforcing the old adage—the bigger they are the harder they fall. Don’t believe us? Check out his dojo completely run by women.
Gold Coast Aikikai: 8532 SW 8th Street, Suite 282, Miami; 305-264-1773; aikikai.com

If your idea of hard core training is sipping champagne in the luxurious sanctuary of a spa, then perhaps taking a few classes of Tai Chi at the Mandarin Oriental Spa in Miami is more your speed. As far as atmosphere, this definitely beats a sweaty dojo. Expect to train in decadent opulence. This place features floor to ceiling windows with views overlooking the bay and exotic textures like bamboo and rice paper add to a harmonious ambiance that will comfort your chi to no end.

The Spa at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel: 500 Brickell Key Drive; Miami; 305-913-8332; Mandarin.com.