Do you remember that scene from the end of Vietnam, or maybe it was the start, because I can't be bothered with details like that, and who wants to live in the past? Anyway, there's this famous clip with some self-important helicopter about to take off from the embassy and all these desperate hungry unfashionable people are like trying to climb over the fence, and the sexy bristling army guys are like " those shoes don't match your rickshaw." Or maybe he said something else; I think they were still doing silent movies at that point.
Long story shorter, there's a lot of weeping and gnashing of teeth, and everyone is elbow to elbow, and there's all this tension in the air.
South Beach is like that this weekend (except with fewer helicopters, because my solid gold one is in the shop getting the jacuzzi repaired). Around 200,000 - 300,000 tourists are expected on the beach -- this is WMC times ten.
Travel-averse Miami Beach inhabitants: I suggest you cross the bridge to downtown Miami during this time to see how the other half lives. It's less stressful, fewer tourists, more birds chirping and dogs barking. The smell of freshly cut grass and a distant waterfall. We're doing our own cute things, you should see them. Carpe diem! Besides, how long has it been since you were mugged?
Friday
New York-based DJ Boris is in town for one of his famous house performances at Parkwest. Furthermore, our man DJ Ruen is playing his mix of open format delightfulness in the Rehab room. Parkwest is all about after hours -- won't be back home until noon. Presale tickets are available for $22 on Wantickets. Parkwest Nightclub is located at 30 NE 11th St in Downtown Miami.
Saturday
Like that tired Hitchcock film, The Vagabond will be taken over by aviary DJs during the Dirtybird Invasion. San Francisco and Dirtybird Records DJs Worthy and Christian Martin take over the decks, which is sure to please the electro house-heads. Local favorites Conway and Jay - You will also keep the momentum going, while resident DJs Ryan Evans and Carmel Ophir will let your ears take a break from the assault in the lounge. After attending the Dirtybird Afterhours at Studio A this year during WMC thanks to the aid of alcohol, trust us when we say this flock of feathers will show their plumage in a mix that won't be up in the air. Vagabond is located at 30 NE 14th St in Downtown Miami.
Sunday
MiamiNights and Smac Entertainment, normally content to create intoxicated situations at Cameo and other first rate South Beach venues, bring you west coast house music impresario Donald Glaude at Spirits Nightclub at the Hard Rock Casino. Treat yourself right and do something different you creature of habit. This guy has been DJing since the mid-1980s. Tickets are $22 on Wantickets, but since we're helping out with this event, we're also giving away a free bottle for you and five of your friends. Click here to enter the contest - we'll pick a winner early Sunday afternoon. Spirits Nightclub is located at 5729 Seminole Way in Hollywood (or Ft. Lauderdale if you trust Google).
Monday: Chat Noir at Dream. Yes, you're going out on Monday. The crowds will have partially receded by this point so you can take the hurricane shutters down from your windows and return to your habit of excessive partying. This party is fantastic. Tasteful open format and a really unique mixed crowd define the evening; it's like a remixed version of the original Monday Back Door Bamby. Drinks are expensive ($17 for whiskey and Redbull? Joke), and it's going to take a lot of them to get over Dream's tacky decor, so bring a fresh credit card. Dream Nightclub is located at 1532 Washington Avenue in Miami Beach.
If you're looking for something a bit more hip-hop oriented, I also visited Basic Sexy Mondays at Cameo and I was quite impressed. We talked about this party six months ago when it first launched, and it's really grown up since then. Grown up meaning wall-to-wall people drinking and generally having fun. Cameo is located at 1445 Washington Avenue in Miami Beach.
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